“They’re in Our Food”

Pulp News Mystery  

Illuminati  Bake Sale
“They’re In Our Food!”

Pulp News Mystery Reverend Billy Geoffry Stockholm1 AM, March 26, 2012

Have you ever wondered about the safety of food in your grocery store? Have you ever felt a bit queasy after eating a muffin from your local bakery? What if I told you that you were not alone?

Hundreds of millions of people worldwide are adversely affected by “food thought tampering,” or “FTT’s” a term coined by Doctor Willhelm Gotenbraun former Professor of Biology as well as Instructor for Food and Agricultural Studies at Linköping University, and independent researcher currently residing in Stockholm, Sweden. Dr.Willhelm recently released a 12 page study on the mysteries of food tampering, and food safety, to mixed reviews from his peers.

“Rest assured they’re in our food!” Willhelm shouted, while sipping on a hot cup of mint tea. “Maltodextrin! It’s in everything these days.”

Maltodextrin, of course is a common food additive made from various starches, in Europe it is derived mainly from wheat, and is a common replacement for glutens in bread products.  The food additive is found commonly in sodas, beers, and candy.

According to Dr.Willhelms study, which compiled samples of maltodextrin obtained from five factories across Sweden on the surface the tampered maltodextrin is “perfectly normal”, but upon further investigation, the food additive is “Radiating a strange, difficult to trace, unworldly ether which is naked to the human eye, and only measurable with scientific instrumentation.” In the study trace amounts of the strange energy emanating from the powdered maltodextrin were then captured in steam cooled then fed via water bottle directly to white mice.

“The Mice, they’d move wherever I pointed, then they would follow my finger, certain gestures would even make them jump up in the air.” Says Willhelm, as he gave me a tour of his lab. “They would even stand around when I wasn’t there, just staring listlessly out of their cage, waiting for their next command.”

I wondered why the maltodextrin has such an effect on the animals? Willhelm went on to explain “the chemical maltodextrin like other complex carbohydrates is simply broken down into sugars, these sugars by way of the blood stream, are fed intravenously to the rest of the body.” In Willhelm’s study he goes on to write “that the sugars in the tampered maltodextrin, are artificial, and while harmless to the rest of the body stimulate and shuts down auditory and visual responses when fed by way of vertebral arteries to the brain. The brain in essence loses control of function without instruction and the mysterious substance shuts off parts of the brain that form the basis of independent thought.” Willhelm with a great look of concern in his eyes goes on to tell me that “this particular strain of maltordextrin comes from tainted wheat from a farm in Dalarna County” Owned by an elusive homeward sect of the “Vasa Order of America”.

Upon further research of Vasa, I discovered that it was a western cult formed by Swedish immigrants to the Americas. The cult was made in order to secure business holdings for the Swedish American community. Vasa is of course named after King Gustav Vasa ruler for most of the 16th, and 17th centuries in Sweden. The Vasa Order has many ties to the Illuminati and is very much embedded in Swedish American History, with notable club history going back to Dalarna county, to a specific farm where King Vasa I had sought to recruit many of the peasantry to join his army, chronicled in the stories of “The Dalarana Adventures of Gustav”. Upon learning of the farms exact location, I had hired a group of private investigators, to scour the farm for evidence of Doctor Wilhelms claims. On March 6th in Dalarna county my investigators were found shot dead along with their dog.


I wondered what this all meant? Back to Stolkholm, to the home of Doctor Wilhelm, the now disgraced doctor who fell out of favour with Linköping University’s school of science for his outspoken study. I saw the man at his very weakest, sadly leaning against the wall in his study. “They are everywhere, waiting to control us. Holding the puppet strings hoping to destroy us all.”

Next time your sucking on your bon bon, mawing into your muffin, or enjoying your hot cereal, will you trust that you are not already in their control? That queasy feeling? A side effect of the maltodextrin coursing through your veins, and controlling your very thoughts!

As for myself dear reader I think I will just stick with vegetables and protein from now on. No grain for me!!!



About The Dougler

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: